Murr’s Best Lines in Impractical Jokers

Murr has a proven track record of doing the most outrageous stuff on the show. However, when he’s not busy putting stuff his in mouth, you bet he’s putting it to other more palatable uses.

Top of these include his legendary work as an accomplished bullshitter and by far the best speech-maker amongst the jokers.

And as far as speeches go on the show, Murr delivered the most infamous one during his punishment at the Yonkers City Hall, where he inadvertently went on to drop some of his best lines in one episode.

All his other lines admittedly have now to live in the shadow of that single showing. So how about we go back in time and unearth some of his other crazy thoughts.

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Murr’s Best Lines and the Episodes in which He says them

LineEpisode
I, James Murray, take you, Sal’s sister, to be my lawfully wedded wife. I take you for who you are and who you are is Sal’s sister.Season 3 Episode 31 (Brother-in-Loss)
You have a cute front.Season 2 Episode 27 (Cyber Buddies)
I figured out what stinks in here. It’s your p***y!Season 3 Episode 26 (The Permanent Punishment)
Braised Breef is Brilliant!Season 3 Episode 25 (In Poor Taste Buds)
1. I whispered the illest shit in his wife’s ear.
2. I always be illin’.
Season 6 Episode 19 (Flatfoot the Pirate)
No man, it’s the crotch watch!Season 5 Episode 3 (Bidder Loser)
1. Congrats on your big ass baby.
2. That is a straight up tight ass perm right there!
Season 6 Episode 5 (Vampire Weakened)
You don’t have an umbrella!Season 7 Episode 7 (Lords of the Ring)
Everything in the wild will either kill you, or f**k you. As you can see, I’m still alive.
Like a Boss!Season 7 Episode 17 (Like A Boss)
1. Home is where you dook the hardest.
2. My bald head is filled with crazy thoughts.
3. ‘Twas the old wrinkly bag that held the family jewels.
4. All the women in the world aren’t worth a goose drop to a Flemish man.
5. I’ve been attacked by monkeys on three separate occasions.
6. Show of hands, what year were you born?
7. I only touched his throat.
8. We’ve all slept on a wet mattress that we don’t know how it got that way.
9. There’s water on my coolie.
Season 7 Episode 10 (Speech Impediment)
I bid you a-doo-doo!Season 9 Episode 16 (Documentary No!)

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